I survived. Barely. But I did.
I am cutting my losses and moving on.
If I can't live like this, then I will find another way to live.
Nova Scotia in the morning.
My partner came over to work on our project today.
All I want is for her to write one little paragraph.
But she's currently sleeping on my bed?
2:55 PM-- She's still asleep....
"Have you got any matches? I want to light something afire," a customer said to me tonight in all seriousness and I laughed at him and subsequently apologized.
I remember when I first moved into this little room in Ottawa. I looked at its desk, bed, floor, wardrobe, etc. And I knew somehow that within weeks I'd be throwing myself against its walls.
First semester found me self-thrown against the floor. Now that I see all that misery was for nothing in this university context, I am much more relaxed.
When I hear about people who succumb to the stress, to the pressure, it kills me because it could be that it was all for nothing.
And there's something to be had beyond this anyway. It's just impossible at this point to ascertain what that something is.
When I woke up this morning, I just sat up in bed and cried treacherously. I commit treason to myself everyday.
I really wonder if this paroxysm of nostalgia will ever come to pass.